I've often observed that many people's top-ranking
fear is not death but having to speak in public.
The joke is that these people would rather lie in a
casket at their own funeral than give the eulogy.
Public speaking for people who suffer from panic
attacks or general anxiety often becomes a major
source of worry, possibly weeks or even months
before the speaking event is to occur.
These speaking engagements don't necessarily have
to be the traditional "on a podium" events; they can
be as simple as an office meeting where the individual
is expected to express an opinion or give verbal feedback.
In this case, the fear centers on having a panic attack
while speaking. The individuals fear being incapacitated
by the anxiety and hence unable to complete what
they're saying. They imagine fleeing the spotlight and
having to make all kinds of excuses later for their
undignified departure -out the office window . . .
This differs slightly from the majority of people who
fear public speaking. With others, their fear tends to
revolve around going blank while speaking or feeling
uncomfortable under the spotlight of their peers. The
jitters or nerves are, of course, a problem for this group
as well-but they're unfamiliar with that debilitating threat,
the panic attack, because they most likely
haven't experienced one before.
So how should a person with an anxiety
issue tackle public speaking?
Stage 1 is accepting that all of these bizarre and, quite
frankly, unnerving sensations aren't going to go away
overnight. In fact, you're not even going to concern
yourself with getting rid of them for your next talk.
When they arrive during a speech or meeting, you're
going to approach them in a new manner.
We need to build your confidence back to where it
used to be before any of these sensations ever
occurred. This time, you'll approach it in a unique,
empowering manner, allowing you to feel your
confidence again. Some say that most of the top
speakers are riddled with anxiety before an event,
but they somehow use this nervousness to enhance
their speech.
I'm going to show you exactly how to do this.
My first point is this, and it's important:
the average healthy person can experience an
extreme array of anxiety and very uncomfortable
sensations while giving a speech and is in no danger
of ever losing control, or even appearing slightly
anxious to the audience. No matter how tough it
gets, you'll always finish your piece-even if, at the
outset, it feels very uncomfortable to go on.
You won't become incapacitated in any way.
The real breakthrough happens when you fully
believe that you're not in danger and that the
sensations will pass. By asking for more, you're saying:
I realize that you [the anxiety] hold no threat over me.
What keeps a panic attack coming again and
again is the fear of the fear-the fear that the
next one will really knock your socks off and the
feeling that you were lucky to have made it past
the last one unscathed.
Because they were so unnerving and scary, it's your
confidence that's been damaged by previous
anxiety episodes. Once you fully understand that
you're not under any threat, then you can have a
new response to the anxiety as it arises while speaking.
There's always a turning point when a person moves
from general anxiety into a panic attack, and that
happens with public speaking when you think to yourself:
I won't be able to handle this in front of these people.
That split second of self-doubt leads to a rush of
adrenaline, and the extreme anxiety arrives in a
wavelike format. If, however, you feel the initial anxiety
and react with confidence that this isn't a threat
to you, you'll process the anxiety rapidly.
Using this new approach is a powerful ally because it
means it's okay to feel scared and anxious when speaking.
That's fine-you'll feel it, and you'll move with and
through the sensations in your body and out the other side.
Because people are often very anxious before the
talk has begun, they may feel they've already let
themselves down. Now you can relax on that point.
It's perfectly natural to feel the anxiety.
Take, for example, the worst of the sensations you've
ever experienced in this situation-be it general unease
or loss of breath. You'll have an initial automatic
reaction that says:
Danger-I'm going to have an episode of anxiety
here, and I really can't afford for that to happen.
At this point, most people react to that idea and
confirm that it must be true because of all the
unusual feelings they're experiencing. This is where
your train of thought creates a cycle of anxiety that
produces a negative impact on your overall presenting skills.
So let that initial "Oh dear, not now" thought pass by,
and immediately follow it up with the attitude of:
There you are-I've been wondering when you would
arrive. I've been expecting you to show up. By the way,
I'm not in the least threatened by any of the strange
sensations you're creating. I'm completely safe here.
Instead of pushing the emotional energy and excitement
down into your stomach, you're moving through it.
Your body is in a slightly excited state, exactly as it
should be while giving a speech-so release that
energy in your self-expression. Push it out through
your presentation, not down into your stomach.
Push it out by expressing yourself more forcefully.
In this way, you turn the anxiety to your advantage
by using it to deliver a speech; you'll come across as
more alive, energetic, and in the present moment.
When you notice the anxiety drop, as it does when
you willingly move into it, fire off a quick thought when
you get a momentary break (as I'm sure you have between pieces),
and ask it for "more." You want more of its intense feelings
because you're interested in them and absolutely
not threatened by them.
It seems like a lot of things to be thinking about while
talking to a group of people, but it really isn't. You'd be
amazed at how many different, unrelated thoughts you
can have while speaking. This approach is about adopting
a new attitude of confidence about what you might have
deemed a serious threat up until now.
If your predominant fear of speaking is driven by a feeling
of being trapped, then I suggest factoring in some mental
releases that can be prepared before the event. For
example, some events allow you to turn the attention
back to the room to get feedback, etc., from the
audience. If possible, prepare such opportunities in
your own mind before the engagements.
This isn't to say that you have to use them, but people
in this situation often remark that just having small
opportunities where attention can be diverted for the
briefest moment makes the task seem less daunting.
It may even be something as simple as having
people introduce themselves or opening the floor
to questions. I realize these diversions aren't always
possible and depend on the situation, but anything you
can factor in that makes you feel less trapped or under
the spotlight is worth the effort
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